You’re Allowed to Change Your Mind

At some point, someone said yes to something and then realized it wasn’t right for them anymore. Maybe circumstances changed. Maybe they changed. And instead of simply saying so, they spent days — maybe weeks — trying to figure out how to get out of it without disappointing anyone, without seeming flaky, without having to explain themselves.

If that’s ever been you, you’re in very good company.

There’s this unspoken belief that once you’ve committed to something — a plan, a dynamic, a way of doing things — changing your mind means you were wrong the first time, or that you’re unreliable, or that you’re letting someone down. So we honor the commitment and quietly abandon ourselves instead.

But here’s a gentler way to look at it: changing your mind isn’t a failure of character. It’s actually a sign that you’re paying attention. You learned something new. Something shifted. You grew. And growth almost always means that some of what used to fit doesn’t fit anymore — and that’s not something to apologize for.

The relationships and situations that are truly right for you can hold a changed mind. The people who genuinely care about you want to know what’s actually true for you, not a version of you that’s frozen in a decision you made before you knew better.

You’re not the same person you were five years ago, or even five months ago. You’re allowed to let your choices reflect that. Honoring who you are right now isn’t inconsistency. It’s integrity.

Sara Miriam Perlmutter is a holistic healer and author of Am I Broken? A Guide to Reclaiming Your Worth. She works 1:1 at saramiriamhealing.com.